On A Sunday

When I put on the CBS Sunday Morning program it’s because I’m in my Sunday morning mood and I’m looking for something to watch that won’t make me want to put my foot through the television screen. CBS Sunday Morning is a mild, slow-paced, unremarkable program that closes every week by showing non-narrated nature footage. It’s typically waterfowl. I sit there and watch sandpipers skittering along a beach or ducks splash around in a marsh, and I reflect mostly on how at that given moment I’m not rushed to do anything else. Similar to the phenomenon where one minute of silence can feel like ten minutes, usually before the end I’m asking myself, “How much more of this footage are they going to show? Are they out of their minds? Good grief, aren’t there commercials they need to air?!” The only time the show ever offended me was completely unintentional. They were doing a segment on orthodox Jew rapper Matisyahu and showed a clip of one of his fans gushing about the irony of a jewish rapper. All I remember is shouting some sort of expletive at the TV that referred to The Beastie Boys and contained a small amount of spittle.

I bring this up because this past Sunday, CBS Sunday Morning did a piece on Rosie O’Donnell, Donald Trump, celebrity feuds, and why we are all just so interested. As I’ve explained, I put on CBS Sunday Morning specifically because I’m not interested, and I was ambushed. The biggest insult was the promo for the piece ending with the cliché “Why can’t we all just get along?” Burn in hell, CBS Sunday Morning! Charles Kuralt may have led a double life, but he wouldn’t have stood for this.