To Myrtle

I am going to try to write a vacation-related post every day this week. It won’t be a diary per se, but I think I can come up with at least five amusing entries. And at the end I will share my thoughts on The Sopranos.

We set the alarm for 4:00 AM so we could make our flight on Saturday. The good news about the early start was that we flew in to Myrtle Beach before noon. The bad news was that the rental place wasn’t ready for us until about 2:30. We really needed to get to the “home base” for the kids’ sake, so it was a bit trying waiting for the realty place to give us the key. We stopped at the grocery store first to pick up some things, some of which were eventually eaten and some of which were thrown out at the end of the week and wasted. I myself wasted about a half gallon of milk by backing the rental car over a styrofoam cooler with ice that I had bought to preserve the food until we could get inside the condo. It was funny, aggravating, and embarrassing at the same time, although I was too exhausted at that point to react much at all. Dennise's mom was able to salvage what was left of the milk. I thought the container had exploded, but I had just crumpled it a bit. At the store I got the week's beer, including a case of Natural Lite, which I associate with that part of the country. The kids were really great throughout all the travels the first day. When their grandparents arrived, we went to a hotdog stand near the beach for lunch, which looking back I think is one of the better memories of the trip. I think there is always something special about the first moments of a vacation, like the first time you see the beach, the first time you step on the strip, or the first time you check out the rental, get settled, and have that first beer. Everything is new and different and you are excited with the anticipation of the entire week ahead of you. The hot dogs and the cold beer were good, too.

We were all able to sit together on the first leg of the flight, but the second plane from Atlanta to Myrtle only had two seats in each row. Dennise was going to sit with Syd in the pair of seats on the right side of the plane and I was going to hold Drew on my lap in the single seat on the left side of the plane. Because there were fewer oxygen masks on the left side of the plane, however, the lap baby had to be on the right side. That meant Dennise had to have both kids. Syd slept and Drew was well-behaved, so it actually worked out quite well, but we were a little nervous about the whole idea.

I sat in the front row seated next to an army colonel named Mike who was returning from Iraq on two weeks’ leave. Mike had actually entered the gate with us and helped us by carrying our stroller down the passage. Before the stewardess made Drew move, Mike showed a real interest in Drew, even holding him for me while I buckled my seatbelt. I told him that I thought it must be good luck for Drew. We chatted for the entire trip, and I had the fortune of meeting a very remarkable person. We talked about our families and our jobs, and I was in awe of the fact that he commanded a brigade of nearly 4,000 people, which are more people than are employed at my company. Most people can’t imagine even serving in Iraq. It was hard for me to fathom doing so and also have such an incredible amount of responsibility. I think everyone cares deeply about those who serve this country, in that they are members of families just like ours. I had never been so deeply struck by the quality of people who serve this country, though. Leaders such as this would do very well in the private sector, but they choose to do much tougher work. Mike talked just as easily about the three provinces in Iraq he covers and the Iraqis he works with as he did about his wife and two kids, who I felt I knew by the time the plane landed.

I found this news article about Mike this morning. He is stationed at FOB Kalsu, named after Bob Kalsu of the Buffalo Bills, the only active pro football player to have been killed in Vietnam.

http://community.adn.com/?q=adn/node/105222

That night we had dinner at a place along the beach that we were able to walk to. Syd had a blast running up and down the beach. On our way back, she got down on all fours and somehow ended up face first in the sand. Her mouth was characteristically open. We cleaned her off the best we could and she was back to “normal.” We have a few pictures of her sandy face. She looks like the worst “Survivor” contestant ever.

the Modfather

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3fDXsPE0Sc

Better stop dreaming of the quiet life cos it's the one we'll never know
And quit running for that runaway bus cos those rosey days are few
And stop apologising for the things you've never done
Cos time is short and life is cruel but it's up to us to change
This town called Malice

Rows and rows of disused milk floats stand dying in the dairy yard
And a hundred lonely housewives clutch empty milk bottles to their hearts
Hanging out their old love letters on the line to dry
It's enough to make you stop believing when tears come fast and furious
In a town called Malice

Struggle after struggle year after year
The atmosphere's a fine blend of ice
I'm almost stone cold dead
In a town called Malice

A whole street's belief in Sunday's roast beef gets dashed against the Co-op
To either cut down on beer or the kids new gear
It's a big decision in a town called Malice

The ghost of a steam train echoes down my track
It's at the moment bound for nowhere just going round and round
Playground kids and creaking swings lost laughter in the breeze
I could go on for hours and I probably will but I'd sooner put some joy back
In this town called Malice.

Suucki & Suucki

Article about this Kurt Cobain ad for Doc Martens here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/05/business/media/05adco.html

This is really one of the most profane things I think they could come up with. The Heather Chandler memorial spread in the Westerberg High yearbook was more tasteful. It’s precious that Saatchi & Saatchi considers these ads a beautiful tribute to four legendary musicians. And she is including Sid Vicious as legendary musician! In the same breath as Joe Strummer! And not to pass judgment, but in terms of these guys’ eligibility for heaven, can we just not go there? Especially when you consider the demise of Kurt and Sid, it’s totally depressing. They are selling image and cheap, meaningless, shopping mall sentimentality. If you want a tribute for Joey Ramone, pay $7 to see a punk band at The Bug Jar.

A couple of really embarrassing things from last Friday:

We had our third bi-weekly neighborhood happy hour, and on the way home we were walking with our next door neighbor and her daughter. I was pushing Syd in our wagon and Dennise was carrying Drew. I got tired of pushing the wagon up and down the street while everyone else ambled home, so our neighbor’s daughter pushed instead and I took her scooter. So I started scooting up and down the street and was doing pretty well until I ran into a pinecone and fell off. I didn’t fly off or do a flip or anything, the scooter just hit the pinecone and stopped and I fell like a tree. I had two outstretched hands to break my fall so I actually went down pretty softly, but it wasn’t my coolest moment. I was thinking, what am I doing, I am going to be 35 years old! When my dad was 35, I was eleven! When I was eleven, I had a better chance of seeing President Reagan on a scooter than my dad.

Anyway, I’m afraid to say the biggest embarrassment was at the party itself. Neighbors have taken turns hosting these get-togethers, and I’ve wondered if and when the time comes for us to host, what five CDs would I put in rotation to best let everyone know just how cool and awesome I am and how much more with-it I am compared to everybody else. We don’t have the nicest house, we won’t have the best food, we don’t have the nicest things, but I really thought we could shine by putting on some awesome tunes. The music at the other parties has been fine, but kind of predictable. I wasn’t able to listen too closely last Friday, but I thought I heard some unfamiliar Elvis Costello before it went into (what else) Dave Matthews Band. So as we were leaving I asked Ryan what Elvis Costello CD we were listening to, but it was Coldplay. And this mistake of mine can never be undone. Even though I barely really heard the music and only caught a few bits of it, really no excuse will suffice when you bring up Elvis Costello and it's Coldplay. Dennise was standing right there and she knew exactly what I did and she made this sound like she was a schoolgirl who realized I just said something out of turn to the teacher. So that’s a credit I guess to how well she knows me, because she understood that in my mind I had just stepped into a big pile of dogshit. Then Ryan goes into this spiel about who Chris Martin is, and what Coldplay is like, and basically just trying to introduce me to the whole thing. Every second was just unbearable because I really wanted to find a hole to go crawl into. So now we have to move!

Charles Nelson Reilly

In honor of Charles Nelson Reilly, I wanted to post the picture of me and Dennise as Charles and Brett Somers at Hauer's Match Game Party. I like to think that I gave a convincing and humorous portrayal without hyperbole or parody. The first round of The Match Game was very stale, but then we broke into Hauer's liquor cabinet and started doing shots before the second taping. The one-liners, insults, and double-entendres really started to flow from then on. Speaking of taping, I think my sister used an entire tape on her camcorder filming the "episodes." I wonder if it's ever been watched.

Another funny thing about the party is that Hauer invited a bunch of his friends to be contestants, but he didn't tell them ahead of time. So they walked onto the Match Game set quite by surprise and here I am in character as CNR and I wasn't sure if I was suppose to break kayfabe or not. After a while we passed the props around and each took a turn in different roles. It was a real blast.

It was an honor to get to play Charles on The Match Game. I never understood why all the Brady kids wanted to play Dopey when they put on a production of Snow White in their backyard, but on The Match Game, there isn't even a close second to CNR.

Charles was taken from us too soon, but on the bright side I heard that he was leaving his BLANK to science.

Father Time

The Playoff Beard lasted exactly 40 days, which is about two dozen less days than I had hoped. It would have put Dr. Jack Shepherd’s future-beard to shame. I was watching the last Ducks/Red Wings game and was impressed with the beards on those guys. I think it’s a symbol of the grind that the playoffs are – the number of games, the travel, and the increasing strength of opponents as you progress round to round. For me, it was more like I had the thing every minute of the day just for the sake of the 10 hours or so of hockey I would watch every week. It definitely looks cooler on the guys on the ice than it did on me in my lame office job. Maybe it would have been different if I wasn’t the only one I knew doing it. It was really the team from 2005-06 that inspired my commitment to do it. This year’s squad wasn’t nearly as inspiring, so this may have been a one-time thing. The only other option is to do it every year, and I’ll look like Scott Niedermayer before this blessed team of mine wins anything.

I thought that LOST last night was brilliant. During the scene when The Others were approaching the dynamite tents, my heart was actually pounding. On The Sopranos during the incident with Meadow it was doing the same thing. I guess I just get wrapped up in my stories. I think Jack is such an interesting character. He does exactly what you expect based on what was established in his backstory, but he is still a very complex character. It’s like once he succeeds in leading “his people” off the island, he has no purpose. He wants Ben to live to see himself fail, but the irony is what Jack’s “success” has brought him. It’s just great stuff.

Fast-forwarding through the commercials last night during LOST, it was still pretty clear that the new offerings from ABC next season are going to suck. Like we need an entire hour devoted to that chick from Grey’s Anatomy feeling sorry for herself and sharing every personal detail and feeling with whatever passerby slows down long enough. It will be interesting to see which programs are accepted and rejected by the women that work in my office. They watch a lot of television. And I’m sure that “Dirty Sexy Money” is already on their radar.

A big old pile of mulch is scheduled to be delivered sometime during the evening today or tomorrow. Instead of socializing we decided to attack the yard on Saturday. We have decided to try for little accomplishments throughout the week and on weekends so there is always some sense of satisfaction that the house is under control It will be nice to buy some plants and get the yard in shape. Hopefully the children cooperate. I’m sure we will have one little helper ready to go.

I’ve started buying those energy-saving lightbulbs and replacing our old ones. The saving in energy and reduction in pollution is hard for me to pass up. Considering that the bulbs last about seven years, it’s a no-brainer for me. They even have three-way bulbs and they work really great. The only drawback is that you can’t use them outdoors where they could get wet, and you can’t use them on a dimmer. Our three-way bulbs never seem to work all three ways anyway.

Can’t wait for the long weekend and hoping for early dismissal tomorrow.

Almost Summer

The Buffalo Place Thursday at the Square summer concert schedule is out and people are rightly blown away by the acts that are booked for this year. This may be the best lineup yet. I’m always impressed with the quality of acts that they can bring downtown. I love how the lineup always comes out at the last minute, too. It adds so much to the drama, as if they just finalized it at the very last minute, which apparently they did. Courtesy of Buffalo Rising Online:

"I thought we had it all set three days ago... then we got a couple last minute call-ins and had to scramble. There's so much competition for booking these acts, but Thursday at the Square has made a name for itself so there are a lot of bands that want to play and will remember Buffalo when scheduling their summer tours. Thursday at the Square brings tens of thousands of people downtown, and the spinoff generates four and a half million dollars of economic impact, 3.2 million of that directly impacts the downtown core."

Son Volt and The Old 97’s are the two jaw-dropping bands on the list, but the Violent Femmes are returning again this year, and The Dirty Dozen Brass Band is playing later in the summer. Moe is good and Soul Asylum is perfectly respectable. I can’t get excited about the Dropkick Murphy’s, though. All the current Irish Rock bands sound to me like they are more Pogues-inspired in terms of the drinking rather than the songwriting.

I bought a Dirty Dozen Brass Band cassette when I was in high school because I had heard them on a Grateful Dead bootleg and saw that they had recorded a number with Elvis Costello. Not sure where that tape went, but it was The New Orleans Album.

I saw a commercial for Chemistry dot com during The Office last night, and I misinterpreted the ad I saw yesterday. Apparently people with profiles on eHarmony can get notices that no one else’s profile matches up with theirs and therefore they can’t be set up on a match. In other words, “Rejected by eHarmony.” I don’t know what I was thinking yesterday. How could there be an online dating site that caters to unhip people? They would probably sooner market Mountain Dew to non-extreme teenagers.

I know that it’s pointless to rail against American Idol, but I just have to say that the whole thing is utterly glum and depressing. The hausfraus can have it as far as I’m concerned, but every time I hear a guy talking about watching it I actually get depressed. Any guy who is discussing American Idol doesn’t have it on in the background because his wife is watching it. He is into it. American Idol is utterly soulless. It’s professional karaoke. And if you flip around your FM dial on the way into work, as a matter of course every radio station is talking about what happened the night before. Identical comments, identical calls from listeners, in every city in the country. Nobody has ever had a different opinion about anything relating to that show. Anything at all with any value or depth will generate different reactions from people. I have never heard anyone have a debate about the merits of any of the karaoke singers on Idol, but how could they? It’s like debating whether you like the burger at Fridays or the burger at Applebee’s. You can’t debate sameness. This is my idea of hell. If Chris Moltisanti is in hell right now and it truly is an Irish bar where every day is St. Patrick’s Day, I will gladly trade hells with him. I will spend eternity at Rocky Sullivan’s on St. Patrick’s Day and he can listen to the gang on Buzz radio riff on American Idol.

You Made It A Phenomenon

This is what the internet is saying about Jackie’s “Message To The Sabres:”

“(He) has more heart than any of you… a fucking 8 year old knows his shit. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves for not believing… I pray Buffalo doesn't let this kid down.”

“That kid is one heck of a believer.”

“That was like...the most heartwarming thing I’ve ever seen. So simple yet so persuasive. That kid could get me to do anything.”

“Who is that kid anyway?”

“The video was completely touching. I want to like, go have a long chat with my mom about life after viewing.”

“Kid is cute and I’m happy that he said those words.”